Miami politics is never just about the people on the ballot. In fact, half the drama is happening off the ballot.
Another election cycle has come and gone, leaving behind the usual debris field of broken signs, bruised egos, and consultants still 
waiting to get paid. And while everyone is busy dissecting the candidates and their margins and their margins of victory in Miami, Hialeah and Miami Beach, Ladra is here for the real autopsy: the winners and losers who never appear on the ballot but are pulling strings, pushing narratives, or just getting run over by the political pachanga.
The consultants, the machines, the dynasties, the wannabes, the trolls, the institutions, and the voters (bless their tired souls).
Read related: ‘Winners & Losers’ from the Miami, Miami Beach and Hialeah elections
So grab your cortadito — heavy on the espuma — because while some candidates are still picking pastelito crumbs off their dignity, Ladra is here with this cycle’s MVPs and DOA’s, which has become a Political Cortadito tradition.
AND THE WINNERS ARE:
- Political and media consultants Christian Ulvert and Michael Worley, who often work together, and went three for
three Tuesday with wins for Eileen Higgins in the Miami mayoral race, Rolando Escalona‘s runoff in the Miami D3 commission contest, and Monica Matteo-Salinas in the Miami Beach commission runoff. Campaign veteran Emiliano Antuñez took Escalona to the runoff and “he’s a machine,” the commissioner-elect said. Ecalona’s win was particularly sweet since he beat former Miami Commissioner Frank Carollo, who has significant name recognition compared to the self-described “nobody.” And for Ulvert, who made the losers column last year after he lost all five Miami-Dade constitutional seats, it shows he is still bouncing back. - Democrats. Some might be calling in sick today, but they’re just still celebrating. Tuesday night’s election results in both Miami and Miami Beach were rousing successes. Hialeah is a throwaway for them. But they got Higgins elected the first Democrat mayor in Miami in almost 30 years — and by almost 20 points — and Matteo-Salinas elected in Miami Beach by a whopping 42 points. They attracted big-name, national blue star power from the likes of Mayor Pete Buttigieg, Arizona Sen. Ruben Gallego and Congressman Rahm Emanuel, a former White House official under Barack Obama. And they showed that with national attention (and money), they can flip traditionally red seats. All they have to do now is lose that momentum, like they always do.
- Former Joe Carollo district aide Steven Miro, who filed a whistleblower suit against his ex boss after he said he was fired in retaliation for reporting that the commissioner used his office and public dollars to campaign for Alex Diaz de la Portilla when the latter was running for county commission. The scandal became known as Paellagate and Miro eventually settled out of court for a tidy sum. Fast forward to this election cycle, where helped Escalona — a lot. It was personal for him. We might want to put other former Carollo staffers on the list. Let’s make that the Anybody-But-Joe coalition. Anyone who
ever tangled with the brothers Carollo — from activists to former staff to political rivals who still have PTSD — got a little karmic dopamine hit this week. Whether you call it political maturity or simply exhaustion, it’s a win. - Speaking of which… Bill Fuller, one of the owners of Ball and Chain, which was targeted and eventually shut down by Joe Carollo’s weaponization of city departments — police, code enforcement, city attorney — for having had an event for his political opponent in 2017. The two won a jury trial in 2023 for $63.5 million in damages and have already gotten a $12.5 million settlement from the city for its part. But Tuesday’s results were like the cherry on top. “It’s been eight years of torture and harassment,” Fuller told TV cameras at Tuesday night’s victory party for Escalona, which he hosted.
- Hialeah Mayor Elect Bryan Calvo, who wasn’t on the ballot this cycle but was able to flex already, throwing his brand new mayoral weight behind two candidates in the council runoffs who both won. Sure, they weren’t on his original slate, but they did much better in their second go-around. Gelien Perez, who worked for the city’s Human Resources Department, was on former Councilman Jesus Tundidor‘s slate when she got 40.5% of the vote Nov. 4 and got a whopping 80% against Jessica Castillo, who works in medical insurance sales, in the Group 3 runoff. In the Group 5 race, university student William “Willy” Marrero — the only candidate on outgoing Interim Mayor Jacqueline García-Roves’ slate who didn’t lose Nov. 4 — got 25% while the second place finisher got 23% last month to make it into the second round. This time, Marrero, who now replaces Calvo as the youngest council member ever elected in the City of Progress, got 71% against. But if you see a smile on Bryan’s face, you know why.
- Ditto for Miami Beach Commissioners Alex Fernandez and Laura Dominguez, who backed Matteo-Salinas and can now form a tidy little alliance over in that city.
- Downtown developers who might find a friendly Miami City Hall now that Eileen “Build More Housing” Higgins is mayor. Her campaign was heavily funded by development interests and she doesn’t have the best track record in that department, even voting in favor of rebuilding the county’s waste incinerator, which should have cost her environmental votes but didn’t.
- Lobbyist Manuel “Manny” Prieguez, the former state rep with his finger on the pulse at City Hall. First, he backed Commissioner Miguel Gabela in his win two years ago. This time, he was behind Rolando Escalona from Day One, making hundreds of calls to raise funds and blast critics intermittently. His influence at the city has practically doubled from one day to the next.
NOW, THE LOSERS ARE:
- The Carollo brothers. Joe Carollo is already bruised from lawsuits and settlements and an embarrassing fourth place finish
in the Nov. 4 mayoral race, round one. Now baby brother Frank Carollo’s political era has ended. Normally a candidate doesn’t get on a winners and losers list — that’s like losing twice — but this is about the dynasty. And Frankie can’t run for commissioner again, thanks to the lifetime term limits approved by voters last month. For the first time in decades, this particular apellido is less feared and more… passé. Miami voters finally did what Miami voters always talked about doing: They shut the door on the Carollo dynasty. Hard. Loser status: Extinction-level event. - Miami Beach commission candidate Monique Pardo Pope, the Queen of Self-Inflicted Wounds. Not only did she lose, she lost badly. Monica Matteo Salinas got 71, remember? And, apparently, she’s a sore loser, reportedly already threatening people with lawsuits for posting the truth about her documented social media history of idolizing her Hitler-loving, neo-Nazi, serial killer dad. Again, candidates don’t normally make it to this list but her loss was just epic. And with a Florida Bar investigation hanging over her head, courtesy of Billy Corben’s megaphone, the pain isn’t over just yet.
- Republican politicians. Ladra means Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis, Sen. Rick Scott, Miami-Dade Commissioner Rob
Gonzalez and others — even President Donald Trump — who couldn’t pull enough votes for former city manager Emilio Gonzalez in the Miami mayoral race. They lose not just because Miami voters have no patience for Tallahassee and D.C. meddling in our local races, and by know they should know that. But also because this does not bode well for them in 2026. Congress members Carlos Gimenez and Maria Elvira Salazar are also likely taking lots of acetaminophen today — even if their Dear Leader can’t pronounce it. - Local Republican leaders are also grabbing some ibuprofen today. I would not want to be at the drive-up window Wednesday when Kevin Cooper or Liliana Ros or Evan Power roll through.
- Miami Beach Commissioner David Suarez. gets another ding, just like after the Nov. 4 election when his candidate, Fred Karlton lost to Dominguez, the incumbent. By a lot. Plus, Suarez’s brother-in-law was arrested and charged with operating the commissioner’s unlicensed golf cart, after he was seen (and video recorded) swiping Dominguez yard signs and replacing them with those for Karlton. This time, Suarez backed Pardo Pope, who also lost by an embarrassingly big margin,
which means two things: (1) Suarez can’t pick a winner, and (2) He’s about to be iced out on the dais. - Former Miami Commissioner Marc Sarnoff. First he lost his buddy, former commissioner Alex Diaz de la Portilla when the latter was arrested and charged with 12 felonies, including bribery and money laundering. He was later acquitted but was rejected by voters twice since. And now he lost Joe Carollo, which was an umbilical cord to the city’s budget for legal fees.
As always, it is almost certain that Ladra forgot someone. So please feel free to make additions to either column in the comments below.
And remember, today’s winner could be tomorrow’s loser. And vice versa.
You can help bring your community more independent, watchdog government reporting of our local government and campaigns with a contribution to Political Cortadito. Click here. Ladra thanks you for your support.
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Dearest Randy “I put my name on every message” Hilliard: The liar is you. And I have a screen save of the comments that I am going to try to post (look up). You sent it as Jose Viernes.
Please point out to one lie that I have said or published to “save face.” What “very basic information” did I get wrong? I did not talk to Monica, sure. I did not speak to Monique either. I don’t have to write the story the way you want. I spoke to other people, city staffers, commissioners, residents, activists. I never said I spoke to her. Also, by the way, I did not speak to Ulvert.
I do not “pass myself off” as a reporter. I am an award winning journalist who has taken it upon herself, at a great personal and financial cost, to expose the political palanca and BS around here. That said, this is not a totally objective platform. I write honestly, perhaps too honestly, but I let my experience in. Do I claim to provide a public service? Sure more than you do.
You have patrons. I do not. I have written plenty of stories that have put Christian Ulvert in the hot seat. So you sound ridiculous.
Also, nobody called about my reporting being wrong, except Charlie. That’s it. Nobody else. And, like I said, I was busy at a city commission meeting. We have texted back and forth because he is in Mexico now and said he would call me on Tuesday when he returns. But you didn’t call. You just decided to comment here instead and text me TODAY. Is that what you mean about “several” people called me. Or are you just lying, again?
I won’t continue to approve your ridiculous and useless comments. You’ll thank me later because you are just making a huge fool of yourself.
Love, Ladra
Dearest Ladra,
The one who has lost perspective is you, and you are lying to save face.
My issue is that you pass yourself off as a reporter when you are a flack, just like me, or, for that matter, Ulvert. You never bothered to talk to Monica to verify a word of what you “reported.” If you had bothered to verify the information in the first place, we would not be having this conversation.
Several people called you about your “reporting” being wrong. You didn’t bother to call anyone back. Obviously, your story was based on erroneous information that could have had only one source: Ulvert. Then you regurgitated and passed it off as “reporting.” In the primary, Ulvert represented Brian Ehrlich, one of Monica’s opponents who came in third. Then, your patron does a few things for the Democratic Party that benefited Monica during the month-long runoff, and you gush about what a big winner he is, and then tell me that I “felt left out.” Fuck you.
You claim that you “will never compromise our commitment to the highest journalistic standards of integrity, accuracy, fairness and objectivity,” yet you didn’t verify basic information that is false. Like it or not, your “reporting” is wrong, or you are a shill. Neither is a good look. Stop claiming to be some sort of fucking public service. You used to be a public service. When you started taking money, you stopped being a public service. You are delusional if you actually continue to think that you are.
Your insinuation that I was hiding my identity, but you saw through by monitoring my IP address, is just another one of your lies.
I put my name on every message.
Dear Randy, “Disgusting?” Wow. You’ve really lost perspective. How much money did Ulvert take out of your pocket?
Again, not to be repetitive, but you must think very highly of yourself. You took Monica to the runoff, sure, but she was only ahead by a 3-point margin. Don’t you think she should have done better if you are such a “winner.” She took the runoff by a 40-plus point margin. Big difference.
By the way, you sure are acting like a loser.
Again, Ulvert was involved in THREE winning races, not one. You were sidelined from the one you began. Not a “winning” feature.
Also not a character of a winner: Signing your comments “Jose Viernes,” which is creative and cute, but also cowardly. I approved these, posted at 2 a.m., because you signed them yourself and I want everybody to see what a “winner” you are. I wasn’t “blocking” the others. I deleted them because you are just insulting me without adding anything new to the conversation.
Also, I wasn’t “hiding.” I was covering a commission meeting and then, at 2 a.m., sleeping.
Maybe it’s time to retire if you’re losing sleep over this shit.
Love, Ladra
You can’t hide forever.
Cute. Blocking.
You should be ashamed yourself. The Miami Herald prints retractions. Instead of admitting you made a mistake, you are hiding and censoring your own comments, which makes it clear that you are a shill for Ulvert.
Disgusting.
Dear Randy. I’m sorry if you felt left out. I never heard a word from you or Charlie about Monica. And I did write about the race before the runoff. (Actually, I also wrote about her challenging Ricky Arriola in 2019, but that’s another day). I did not, unfortunately, talk to the candidates. I talked to their supporters (or detractors) and saw their platforms and social media. I wish I could speak to every candidate in every race, but, as you know, I am a one-woman show. And Miami Beach is really like a snack for Ladra in between the huge unhealthy meals in Miami-Dade and Miami, where there was an important commission meeting today. I’m not ducking your calls. I’m busy.
But that’s why it didn’t surprise me that you never called me or sent me any press releases or anything to get me to write about Matteo-Salinas’ candidacy. I did, however, get press releases after the first round from Ulvert’s team, which also placed digital ads on Political Cortadito for many of his candidates, including Matteo-Salinas in the runoff.
That’s not why he’s a “winner,” of course, though recognizing the value of this site sure makes him smart. He’s a winner because he was involved in three winning campaigns, not just one. He has been in the winner’s list before — and in the loser’s list as well. Ladra has also barked at him for the influence he wields, which is now bigger, and for his trip to Qatar with Levine Cava and to Cuba with former Miami Beach Mayor Philip Levine.
So fuck off with your insinuations.
I am nobody’s shill. You know this. But you’re angry. Maybe because you had to share your billable hours with someone else. So I’ll give you a pass. This time.
Love, Ladra
PS: I can see your ip address, dummy, so stop sending anonymous comments and attacks. It’s beneath even you.
You’re totally off on this one, Ladra. Whatever Ulvert and Worley did for Matteo-Salinas was done for the Democratic Party, and not Monica’s campaign. Charlie Safdie and I were the lead consultants. Ulvert would take credit for the virgin birth if you let, and you did. You didn’t even bother to call Monica; you just took Ulvert’s word for it, or have you just become his shill? Why are you ducking our calls, trying to correct your error? You need to retract this claim.
Carlos Gimenez is a hard core MAGA. Gimenez has abandoned Miami and South Florida as he chases more money and power for himself. And the dude Gimenez is chasing his 4th or 5th pension. When this dude finally retires he will get pensions from 4 to 5 government organizations.
The good ole boy way of governing in Miami and Hialeah has been shaken to the core. A very good thing.
Things are not looking good for Representatives Carlos Gimenez, Lincoln Diaz Balart and Maria Elvira Salazar who must know their time in Congress is coming to an end for abandoning their community in favor of sucking up to Daddy Trump. It is nothing short of heart braking to see what is happening across the country with armed, masked hoodlums violently ripping folks from their vehicles without providing a warrant or any other legal basis.
Hmm… there seems someone that likes to push a narrative that’s missing from your article. I wonder who that is, but he has certainly taken multiple Ls in the past six months. Maybe we have to wait for his third loss as a candidate to be mentioned.