Gov. Ron DeSantis sends Florida DOGE squad to sniff out Miami-Dade budget

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Here come the political pooper scoopers.

Just as Miami-Dade Mayor Daniella Levine Cava is trying to close a massive $402 million budget hole without jacking up property taxes, Gov. Ron DeSantis has sent in his Florida DOGE squad — yes, that’s really what they’re calling it — to root around the county books like it’s a litter box full of progressive waste.

In a sharply worded letter Monday, the so-called Department of Government Efficiency, warned that a state spending review is headed to South Florida. State officials want receipts — literally — and they’re not being subtle about their priorities.

Read related: Miami-Dade Mayor Daniella Levine Cava defends new budget, service cuts

The three-page letter, signed by two DeSantis aides and new Florida. Chief Financial Officer Blaise Ingoglia, who was just handed that watchdog gig by the governor last month, questions everything. The state not only wants to see county leases and real estate transactions — like the purchase of an old FP&L building for more than it’s worth, Ladra assumes — but they are, predictably, looking at diversity programs, green energy spending and — wait for it — traffic calming devices like Miami-Dade’s beloved speed bumps. Not our speed bumps!

Translation: “We smell liberal spending. And we don’t like it.”

They also raised their eyebrows about the millions of dollars worth of property tax growth in the last few years.

“Particularly in light of these increases in revenue, we are concerned about the $400M+ budget gap that you have announced,” the letter says, with all the sincerity of a campaign attack ad.

This isn’t the first time Team DOGE has sniffed around Miami-Dade. Levine Cava’s office released correspondence to the Miami Herald Tuesday that shows they’ve already turned over details on employee salaries, contracting, and tax revenues. And now they’ve got until Aug. 13 to cough up even more records — or potentially face fines.

Ladra smells a rat. And the stench is not just coming from Tallahassee.

Because while the DOGE letter is pitched as a dry fiscal oversight move, it just happens to come days after Commissioner Roberto Gonzalez, a vocal DeSantis loyalist trying to position himself for a congressional run, made a pilgrimage to Ingoglia’s office and posted a cheerful video talking about “ensuring county resources serve our taxpayers best.” Because, of course the state knows better than the local government that was actually elected to manage this mess. And they’re so good with our money.

Levine Cava’s team isn’t playing dumb.

In a strongly worded statement, the mayor reminded DOGE that Miami-Dade’s tax rate has actually gone down 2% since she took office — and that her administration is already subject to routine audits. She said she’d cooperate with the review “to the extent that it adds value without disrupting local governance.” That’s like saying “¡Cuidado!”

“If DOGE requires clarification on budget line items we have already clearly documented, we will help,” she said in a statement. “But there is no need for duplication, nor for politically driven investigations that could divert staff time away from critical services.”

La Alcaldesa — who last month put a freeze on a $5 million grant to a shady non-profit secured by Commission Chairman Anthony Rodriguez, another GOP county elected who also happens to be BFFs with House Speaker Danny Perez — also took a swipe at what she called “staged political theater,” saying her priorities remain on things like infrastructure, housing, and public safety, not partisan witch hunts. That’s like saying, “No te hagas.”

Read related: STRIP show: Miami-Dade’s Anthony Rodriguez wants to fix procurement

But the timing couldn’t be worse. The mayor is in the middle of budget season, on media and town hall tour to defend a flat tax rate that ensures “core services,” but still includes cuts to parks, meals to the elderly, and charity funding, plus fee hikes for transit, gas, and even parking at county parks. So, walking Bella is going to cost you $5.

It is no wonder the mayor is getting push back from commissioners and the community.

At public town hall meetings in Miami Gardens and Westchester, Levine Cava blamed the width of the money hole on the five new constitutional offices elected in November. They account for 44% of the budget gap. She also warned residents that rolling back the tax rate even a small amount — as Gonzalez and others, like Miami-Dade Commissioner Raquel Regalado, want to do — would mean deeper, even more painful cuts.

Regalado requested a special appropriations committee meeting for commissioners to go “line by line” through the budget and find places to cut. The meeting is August. 20. Anyone going might want to pack a lunch. And a snack. And a pillow.

And maybe a handheld fan. Because the political heat is rising — and Levine Cava’s Republican critics are turning up the flame. Congressman Carlos Gimenez, her GOP predecessor at County Hall, couldn’t resist piling on. He took to social media to praise the state probe, and he didn’t even use her full name — just “Mayor Levine” — like she’s a high school vice principal who got caught dipping into the prom fund.

“In just a few years, Mayor Levine has turned our good stewardship into a massive deficit,” posted Gimenez, who might just be running for Miami Mayor.

Good stewardship? Maybe Gimenez is gettin’ a little senile. Ladra remembers when he suggested rolling blackouts at fire stations to make up for his budget hole. That’s like putting out dumpster fire with a squirt gun.

To be fair, La Alcaldesa should have seen this $402 million deficit coming. In fact, Ladra remembers warnings about the drying up of federal COVID funds, for years. COVID was in 2020, remember? We had warnings, but not foresight? We’ve also had years of soaring property values. Where has that money gone?

Ladra would welcome a true independent audit. Keyword: Independent. And that’s not the same as a politically-charged probe that looks more like campaign ops than budget watchdogging.

And that’s because DeSantis is holding the leash.

  budget cuts, DOGE, Ron DeSantis