Consider this a Political Cortadito Page Six tidbit.
Guess who was spotted having lunch Friday at Morton’s Steakhouse in Coral Gables? CJ Gimenez, the son of the Congressman who last week slapped Miami Commissioner Alex Diaz de la Portilla at the same Ponce de Leon restaurant and got arrested right after.
Nobody was arrested this time.
Gimenez, a lobbyist, was dining in the early afternoon with his attorney wife Tania Cruz Gimenez, who ran for Coral Gables Commission and lost last year, and documentary filmmaker Billy Corben, who is really best known as a social media “agitator” (read: truthspeaker) whose been the target of Miami Commissioner Joe Carollo’s antisemitism.
Ladra knows because a passerby took pictures of these local celebrities and somehow they got to me. Thank you, anonymous paparazzi. Please keep them coming.
Read related: CJ Gimenez slaps ADLP at Morton’s in Coral Gables; gets arrested, jailed
But wait a minute. Doesn’t Billy Corben have thing for Carlos Gimenez the senior? A hate thing? There’s photos somewhere he photoshopped with the former county mayor’s face on Fidel Castro’s body, isn’t there? And he’s constantly reminding folks that the Munilla brothers, who are part of the Gimenez clan, built the failed FIU pedestrian bridge that collapsed and killed six.
“When I’m not burning bridges, I’m building bridges, and I do it better than MCM,” Corben told Ladra, in front of the Mr. and Mrs., who are too cool, calm and collected to be bothered.
Both CJ and Tania declined to provide a statement, probably under the advice of CJ’s attorney. He is still facing that ridiculously trumped-up battery charge for what ADLP himself admitted was a “flick of the wrist.”
They say politics makes for strange bedfellows. Please tell Ladra someone had the steak and lobster.
“We’re just talking shop and we’re hoping the Tonton Macoute don’t show up and take us away,” Corben said, referring to the Miami Police department, not the feared paramilitary squad in Haiti under dictator François “Papa Doc” Duvalier.
Corben didn’t provide details of why he met with the politically-connected couple. Ladra asked the director of “Cocaine Cowboys: The Kings of Miami” series on Netflix if he was talking to them about about a new docuseries on government corruption in paradise. Crickets. (Pssst, I want in.)
Read related: Video show CJ Gimenez ‘slap,’ zealous takedown by Miami Police bodyguard
We still don’t know what ADLP was doing at that Morton’s with lobbyist Carlos Lago, the brother of Coral Gables Mayor Vince Lago, and former Miami Commissioner Humberto Hernandez, Diaz de la Portilla’s current closest confidante (read: bagman). But I would bet it wasn’t about producing 10 episodes of something wonderful. (Pssst, call me.)
Shortly after 2 p.m. Feb. 9, CJ Gimenez was strolling by when he stopped at ADLP’s table. He got in the commissioner’s face and called him a pussy. Then calmly walked away — but just had to slap him on the head as he left, channeling the desires of pretty much anyone who’s seen a city of Miami commission meeting.
As captured in the CCTV downtown surveillance video released by Coral Gables Police — which has to make it into the series, Billy — Diaz de la Portilla gets up to confront Gimenez before chickening out and siccing his sergeant-at-arms on him. The Miami Police detective chases CJ down the block, grabs him, jostles him, knocks him down and holds him there until 15 or so Gables Police officers arrive to arrest him. It makes great TV!
CJ Gimenez was charged with misdemeanor battery and was made to spend the night in jail unnecessarily. But it could have been much worse.
Read related: Miami Police reportedly wanted to take custody of CJ Gimenez in Gables fracas
The Miami Police department reportedly wanted him transferred to their custody so they could charge him with much harsher violations and actual felonies like battery on a police officer, resisting arrest with violence, fleeing and eluding. Known to use force unnecessarily, CJ could have ended up with a black eye. At best.
And a body cavity search, at worst.
Lucky for him, Coral Gables Police wanted the VIP collar for themselves.
Meanwhile, if Morton’s in the Gables is going to be getting business out of this — and people are making weekday lunch reservations as you read — maybe they ought to name a steak after the incident.
May I suggest something with ‘slap of beef’ in it?