Turnout treat: Dade Dems trade drink for your vote!

Don’t forget to vote Tuesday! And if you need a little extra persuasion, the Miami-Dade Democratic Party will buy you a drink!

People who RSVP and “commit to vote” get a free cocktail at the Dade Dems Blue Party 2014 Monday night in downtown Miami.

Well, what if one has already voted? Do I get a cocktail as a reward? What if I voted for a Republican in a state House race? Will I get kicked out of the big bash?

Naturally, the Democrat hosts can’t tell you who to vote for, so I suggest a bunch of Republicans crash their rival party’s party and drink their booze and spend their money on this highly ineffective gimmick. Why do I think this is more silly than savvy? Let me count the ways.

1) If a voter goes out to Grand Central, 697 N Miami Ave., for a drink on a Monday night, chances are she’s going to want to have another drink. Then he might want some food to wash those drinks down with. And, hey, that band’s pretty good. Finally, why not? One more for the road. Didn’t you read the mouse and the cookie book? So you end up with hungover voters who will likely be late to work and then have to stay over and miss voting altogether, eating from the vending machines or cafeteria, because, ‘Ugh, it is so freaking bright outside.’

2) Those that call in sick altogether are going to stay home in socks, order Chinese take-out or pizza, and watch reruns of Law and Order.

3) You are associating Democrats with alcoholism, which has always been a Republican thing.

4) It looks desperate. Like you are buying votes with a Scotch and soda or a dirty martini.

5) Because how likely are you to identify new supporters this way that weren’t going to vote for former Gov. Charlie Crist anyway? Without an alcoholic beverage as motivation?

More than turnout strategy it looks like the Blue Party is a rally to rile up the Democrats’ Fat Chance Crew — those seven poor souls that then-chairwoman Annette Taddeo threw to the wolves in Republican state House races — before their big fall tomorrow. It’s their only chance to have a “victory party” because we know they ain’t gonna feel like celebrating tomorrow night.

Read related story: Fat Chance Dems in full House challenge doing next to nada

Ladra called Dade Dems Executive Director Juan Cuba, but got his voice mail. I am certain he is desperately knocking on doors in District 116, where he is running against State Rep. Jose Felix “Selfie King” Diaz and doesn’t stand much of a chance.

The local Dems might have had more effect if they had put that money into a last minute phone bank or a catchy and creative palm card that doesn’t just throw a bunch of blue names together but actually connects voters to the candidates or a candidate.

Instead, they’re connecting us to cocktails.

Can you make mine a double?