Unholy alliance could be just for awkward show

• Tweet
• Sumo

• Tweet

Ladra is still having a hard time with the fact that her Golden Boy Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Gimenez has crossed over to the dark side and has yet to call her or make any effort to denounce the violation of freedom of press that occurred when Hialeah Mayor Carlos “Castro” Hernandez barred me from the unholy alliance endorsement event for no good reason except to stifle my speech and stick his ugly tongue out at me.

But then, we see this picture on twitter that must have been taken by one of the Gimenez campaign’s dozen or so deputy consultants and, I gotta admit, I feel a little better.

“Today we were honored to receive the endorsement from Hialeah Mayor, Carlos Hernandez at La Carreta in Hialeah,” wrote @Gimenez4Mayor on twitter. Honored? Bull. You don’t look like you feel honored. Uncomfortable, a little. Determined, for sure. Giddy, maybe, at the thought of Commission Chairman Joe Martinez vomiting or spontaneously combusting or yelling at his campaign manager Sasha Tirador, who was supposed to have Hialeah in the bag but couldn’t deliver.

The more Ladra thinks about this evil engagement, the more I think it was about a personal strategic move rather than a political one. Gimenez didn’t need that endorsement or Hialeah to win, as he showed last year when he beat former Hialeah Mayor Julio Robaina in the post-recall mayoral race. Sure, that was a squeaker and he was lucky the 75 percent support from Hialeah for Robaina didn’t kill him. But Joe is no Julito and he won’t get 75 percent in the City of Progress. And Joe is no Carlos and he won’t do better across the rest of the county. So why embrace the Hialeah hoodlums that Gimenez knows are cheaters, liars and fools?

To stick it up Martinez’s, er, nose, that’s why. Gimenez is very competitive, if seethingly and quietly so. For years, the two men have been vying for power on the dais, battling to show who has the better idea, the better defense, the better one-liner.

This is just an extension of that. And Gimenez has the better campaign hands down.

I mean, just look at them! Can’t you see the fraud in their faces? The sarcasm in their smiles? They are sooooo uncomfortable together. Those crocodile grins look extremely forced. It’s like “Is this over yet? Get me out of here,” is playing on a loop in their heads. Hernandez, in particular, looks like he has something stuck in his throat. It could be his misplaced, egomaniac pride — since he was standing next to a real leader who can really do things, and that made him feel small. Or smaller.

And just look at Hialeah Councilwoman Vivian “I’ll Notarize That” Casals-Muñoz, who is going to take credit for helping to build this bridge — just like she stuck her head out in the right place at the right time to be in the middle of this picture — and use it to further propel her political aspirations and lobbying business.

Well, maybe that snaggle-toothed grin is real, then. She might be smiling at all the dollar signs she sees.

Miami-Dade Commissioner Esteban Bovo (right behind Mayor Gimenez, looking downward over his shoulder) is the only one not making a fool of himself (today) — but only because he’s getting or sending a text, it looks like.

But, really, look closely at the smiles and faces of the two mayors. Can anyone say awkward?