In a poem that sounds a lot like the décima rhythmic pattern of our Cuban youth, Miami-Dade Commissioner Xavier Suarez released his first mayoral campaign radio ad Wednesday, basically mocking his biggest challenger in the eight-way race for county 
mayor, former mayor Alex Penelas.
“Penelas, Penelans, que pena me das,” it starts, which translates, sorta, to “Penelas, Penelas, I feel badly for you.”
“Tiraste el impuesto y escondiste la mano,” the narrator says, referring to a known Cuban saying that translates roughly to, “You threw a rock (tax in this instance) and hid your hand,” or, more figuratively to, you’re pretending not to do something shady. And then you know the ad is about the half-penny tax, which was promoted by Penelas and approved during his mayoral term. Then it was misused and spent on operations and maintenance instead of expanding the public transportation system (read: MetroRail).
Who are we kidding? The whole campaign is going to be about that.
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The 30-second spot goes on to say how only Penelas believes his own story and how his half-penny tax has been wasted and how the people are not going to elect him to “throw another” tax.
It’s sooooo much better in Spanish. So for those of you lucky enough to be bilingual:
Penelas, Penelas, que pena me das
Tiraste el impuesto y escondiste la mano
Tu solo crees tu cuento, mi hermano
Pero el pueblo no te cree ni un poquito
Tu medio centavo se ha ido al fondito
Piensas que vas a tirar otro impuesto
El pueblo no te va dar ese puesto
Penelas, Penelas, que pena me das
That’s it. Nothing else. It’s kind of, um, poetic. The only thing that could have made it better would be if it had been in Suarez’s own voice. It’s also really rather reminiscent of the kind of ads that ran in the 80s and 90s — and with good reason.
“People forget that I wrote 52 radio ads when I ran against Carollo in 1997,” Suarez told Ladra, adding that the poem came to him early one morning.
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Penelas didn’t answer a call or text late Wednesday. But Ladra hasn’t heard any radio ads from his campaign, even though he’s got $3.2 million between his campaign account and his political action committee, Bold Vision, according to the last financial reports through January.
The poem ad by X was paid for by his PAC, Imagine Miami, which has raised almost $1.4 million and spent about $260K.
A poll last year had the two almost tied for pole position among the other candidates, who include Miami-Dade Commissioners Esteban Bovo, Daniella Levine-Cava and Jean Monestime, along with three others who haven’t raised $2,000 between them and are pretty irrelevant.
Ladra fully expects more radio spots to start soon. Stay tuned.
Xavier Suarez strikes first blood vs Alex Penelas with 1/2 penny poem radio spot added by Ladra on
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