Miami-Dade made a very excited announcement Wednesday.
No, our county leaders haven’t solved the transit problem — not even close. They haven’t found a real, professional with airport experience to run MIA. They haven’t decided to respect the people’s vote and create the Pet’s Trust as they promised to. They didn’t find the perfect location and situation for a new civil courthouse. They didn’t pass any new climate change development regulations. And they haven’t discovered a way to save tapayer dollars in wasteful publicity stunts that only feel good but do very little to actually benefit the community.
No, the announcement made Wednesday was that our county had unveiled its very own condom brand. Actually, “its first branded condom,” according to the press release. Italics are mine. Because are we to expect more condom brands from our elected local leaders? Can Ladra suggest an erect palm tree against a sunset backdrop for the next one?
This first condom was unveiled on Valentine’s Day, 
for all the PR value. This is not a joke. Mayor Carlos Gimenez and Commissioner Sally Heyman and Commission Chairman Esteban Bovo even posed with a giant and (we hope) mock condom for the photo-op. At the press conference. Press conference!
This first condom is Miami-Dade’s collaboration with the Florida Health Department’s Getting 2 Zero HIV awareness campaign — because the goal is zero new cases and zero stigma — hence Sen. Rene Garcia also in the photo op. And this is not to take away from the campaign. Ladra is all for HIV awareness and free condoms for everyone — which the county is distributing all this week at locations near you. Miami-Dade has one of the if not the highest rate of HIV infection in the country. Currently, there are almost 27,000 people living with HIV/AIDS in Miami-Dade — that’s one out of every 85 adults. We need as many free condoms as we can get. And it will rain condoms at FIU’s Green Library today, dubbed “Condom Day.”
But is this really what we want our county commissioners to be spending their time doing? Posing with giant condoms? Once they initiate/approve the collaboration, sure, they can do something to help the state campaign. But celebrating? With photo ops?
This is the hard work they want $100,000 a year for? (More on that later.) Already, Deputy Mayor Maurice Kemp (far left) has already spent too much time away from his $230,000-a-year job.
Perhaps it is because the pats on the back come few and far between at County Hall. So they just can’t help themselves. But, seriously folks, whatever time, cost and effort was made designing and/or printing this special wrapper and redecorating the lobby at County Hall and producing all this feel good publicity crap could have been saved and our community better served by hooking the state up with existing HIV awareness organizations that really know how the community and how to distrubute existing brands of condoms all year long.
What we really need is protection for when the county screws us. But in the meantime, here’s where to find the free Miami-Dade brand condoms.
- Feb. 15 Health Fair at Curley’s House, from 10-3 p.m., 6025 NW 6th Ct.
- Feb. 15 Educational Table at MDC-Kendall Campus, from 11-2 p.m., 11011 SW 104th St.
- Feb. 15 Condom Day at FIU’s Green Library, 10:30-2 p.m., 11200 SW 8th St.
- Feb. 16 Health Fair at Government Center, 10-4 p.m., 111 NW 1st St.
- Feb. 16 HIV/STD Testing The Hub at LGBTQ, 10-2 p.m., 1130 Washington Ave., Miami Beach
- Feb. 22 HIV/STD Testing at Flamingo Park, 2-7 p.m., 1200 Meridian Ave., Miami Beach
Use at your own risk.
Pat on the back: Miami-Dade gets something done — their own condom added by Ladra on
View all posts by Ladra →
