‘Dear John’: David Beckham breaks up with Carlos Gimenez

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The bromance of a century is over. Here is a “Dear John” letter from soccer star David Beckham to Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Gimenez, intercepted by Ladra before it made it to the 29th floor at County Hall. And I just had to share.

Dearest Carlos:

When we first met almost two years ago, you filled my heart with a desire I had not felt since dominating the field. We shared hopes and dreams of a life spent playing under Miami’s sun. We were so optimistic about our future together.

I let you parade me around on your arm — I don’t mind being eye candy — and even pass me around to some of your friends for their eye candy. I had to become close to those who have your ear. I thought Victoria was high maintenance but oh boy. And it was okay. Because I believed, in my heart of hearts, that we would be happy in the end.

But it looks like what my friends told me about you is true: He is all talk and no action.

What did you expect? How long did you think I would wait for you? I gave you nearly two of the best years of my life and I feel now that maybe you were just toying with me. And I feel a little bit used. Was it all politics? 

I sense that you might still be disappointed and hurt, but think about how I have felt for the last 20 months while you fumbled around, unable to come through, unable to make a commitment. Like Queen B says, “If you like it then you better put a ring on it.” I never saw a ring. Never saw that you even had enough to get a ring.

Then this gentleman, Alberto Carvalho, came to sweet talk me and he made it seem so simple and pure. I realized that a relationship you have to work so hard on may not be worth keeping.

My relationship with Alberto is easy breezy. He makes me feel good. He makes me feel wanted. He makes me feel like there’s a future with him. His family welcomed me unanimously into their fold while yours was always saying we couldn’t do this and we couldn’t do that.

I think he’s giving me a ring next month! 

We’re even talking about kids! You never talked about kids with me.

Carlos, I still think you’re special. After all, if it hadn’t been for your failures, perhaps I would have never met Alberto.

I truly hope you find someone to make you happy — especially when you lose those Latino votes you wanted to score with a soccer stadium. 

Yours no longer,

Dave

  Alberto Carvalho, Carlos Gimenez, David Beckham, soccer stadium