Political Cortadito guest columnist Grant Stern waxes on The Donald. Grab your popcorn, folks! And suspend any logical thought.
The words Orville Redenbacher, John Stewart and others 
have been waiting to hear from Donald Trump for years have arrived: “I am officially running for President of the United States and we are going to make this country great again.”
have been waiting to hear from Donald Trump for years have arrived: “I am officially running for President of the United States and we are going to make this country great again.”Marching through Trump Tower to Canadian Neil Young’s “Rockin’ in the Free World”, Trump took his time waving awkwardly from above the crowd before condescending, er, rather descending an escalator to teach us poor losers a lesson.
Hearing the announcement on twitter, I quickly grabbed popcorn, fired up Periscope, and later CNN, to catch what will go down as possibly the funniest announcement of a Presidential run this decade, or millenium or as long as these Presidential primaries are held.
First of all, it’s got to be the first time a Presidential candidate said “crap” in his introduction speech. Indeed, I hope a wall was nearby to contain this crap, because “The Donald” was just getting started.
When it comes to spewing venomous racial bile, nobody will Trump the Donald.
“Our country is in serious trouble, we used to have victories, but we don’t have them anymore? When’s the last time we beat China in a trade deal? I beat China all the time? When did we beat Japan at anything?”
He continued with a frontal assault on our neighbors south of the border.
“Mexico is not our friend, they’re killing us economically. The US has become a dumping ground for everyone else’s problems, and these are the best and the finest. Mexico is sending people with lots of problems, they’re doing drugs, they’re bringing crime and rape. It’s coming from all over South and Latin America and probably from the Middle East.”
Trump’s rambling speech touched on Hummvees, hotels in China – and was entirely delivered off the cuff. That didn’t stop the reality TV star from making his own independent, un-researched unemployment rate claims.
“The ‘real unemployment rate’ is 18-21% because China has our jobs and Mexico has our jobs, and nobody talks about it.”
Turning to Obamacare, the developer claimed that our $5 Billion dollar website to implement the ACA “doesn’t work” ignoring the 7 million covered by Obamacare in its first year alone.
Sadly, a candidate interested in issues might’ve spoken thoughtfully about King vs. Burwell whose multi-billion dollar insurance subsidies decision is pending in a divided Supreme Court this summer. I digress, this is about popcorn. It’s Donald the Trump, not a real candidate for President, but a reality TV candidate for President.
He then called for a repeal of Obamacare, but replace it with “something for everybody, but much better and much cheaper” to chants of “Trump! Trump! Trump” from the crowd.
Certainly, something is better than nothing, right?
It kept getting better.
“I have lobbyists that can produce anything for me” said the man who wants to be President.
“We need a truly great leader now. A leader that wrote the art of the deal, that can bring back our jobs, can bring back our military… and we also need a cheerleader.”
George W. Bush was a cheerleader at Yale.
The ‘making this country great’ platitudes were in no shortage today from the billionaire who made wearing a third rate toupee great again, too.
There’s more. Please press this “continue reading” button to “turn the page.”
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