Only two of the five Republican candidates in the congressional primary for District 26 showed up for the 
Kendall Federation of Homeowners Associations debate Thursday — which was two too many for this group.
Whoever wasn’t a campaign plant in the audience was probably a Democrat anyway. Ladra could probably count the Republicans on one paw. But Cutler Bay Mayor Ed “Mac” MacDougall and constitutional attorney Lorenzo “Larry” Palomares-Starbuck — “yes, that is my name” — braved the elements to make sure that folks know what’s important about them.
Palomares was the best he’s ever sounded, even though he keeps saying that anyone whose had a foreclosure or a car repossessed would get a clean slate and their debt erased — and I keep wanting to say ‘Wait until I default on my loans, will ya?’
MacDougall wasn’t his usual charismatic self, though he did seem to nail it at the end, in closing statements. “We’re in a contest to see who’s going to take on Joe Garcia,” he said. “I am the best one to be able to beat Joe Garcia. I am desperately working to bring back honesty and integrity to the district. From 8th Street to Key West, we’ve had nothing but turmoil, investigations.”
Of course he is referring, in part, to the absentee ballot scandal that focused on Garcia’s 2012 campaign and 
the resulting arrest of his chief of staff and onetime campaign consultant Jeffrey “No Relation” Garcia, who was sentenced to 90 days after he admitted to making absentee ballot requests for hundreds of voters without their permission.
But he also may have been speaking about former Congressman David “Nine Lives” Rivera, who lost to Joe Garcia in 2012 amid headlines about an FBI investigation into whether or not Rivera funded a plantidate in the Democratic primary. That investigation still has not wrapped up (more on that later).
Well, because digs were apparently going around, Palomares said he was the only one qualified to be a Congressman because he was an attorney, a constitutional attorney at that, while the other candidates were a school boy and a “small town mayor.”
But Palomares also had 
a lot in common with the small town mayor:
Both are against Common Core and raising the minimum wage and Obamacare. Both are for tighter control of the border, though while MacDougall says individuals must be treated on a case-by-case basis, Palomares said the children who have crossed the border illegally in recent months should be deported.
“You put them on a plane. You send them back to their country of origin. We are not babysitters,” Palomares said, and I half expected him to envision parachuting the kids out over their respective homelands so that our U.S. plane doesn’t have to land anywhere else. “Honduras? You’re next! Line up by the side door.”
More interestingly, both Republicans expressed a pro-choice and pro-marriage equality stance that is still refreshing to find in their party.
Read related story: Carlos Curbelo keeps poll secret in FL26 race for Congress
More predictably, both support the upholding of the second amendment.
But even though you’d think that Big Mac Daddy — a former Vietnam veteran and Miami-Dade Police officer who just seems like a modern day John Wayne — would have more guns, his five firearms aren’t a match by any means to Palomares’ 50 guns. That’s right, five-oh. As in, one for practically every week in the year.
Well, Larry has been known to exaggerate. Remember those two “endorsements” he didn’t really get.
Read related story: Larry Palomares boasts endorsements he doesn’t have
Miami-Dade Commissioner Joe Martinez said he was with family Thursday night, mourning the death of an uncle. He did have a chance to stop by the Republican Executive Committee meeting — the last before the election, I think — to say a few 
words. Miami-Dade School Board Member Carlos “Postalita” Curbelo also missed the debate for a School Board event, Ladra was told, which is why he sent only spies to the debate.
But Ladra can’t help wonder how many guns they have. I would bet that Curbelo has none (maybe his wife wears the guns in the house), but that the Chairman has at least two. Or maybe three.
But what about Rivera? Ol’ Nine Lives didn’t show either — KFHA president Michael Rosenberg joked around “we don’t know if he’s in the audience in disguise” — and has supposedly “suspended campaigning,” even though he had a robocall delivered to voters’ telephones Wednesday.
But, more importantly, how many guns do you think Rivera has? Zero, right?
FL26 Congressional race: Who has the most guns? added by Ladra on
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