Versailles? Really? 10 other suggestions for Paul Ryan

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Florida continues to be in the national spotlight for both presidential candidates, but Republican nominee Mitt Romney owns it this week.

After his post-Univision forum rally on Wednesday, his son Craig Romney was in Miami Lakes for a meet-and-greet Friday evening and his vice presidential running mate, Congressman Paul Ryan, will greet breakfast diners at the venerable Versailles in Little Havana this morning.

How many cafecitos do you think Ryan can take?

How many cafecito pictures with politicians and candidates do you think he’s going to be made to take? I can see them in the mailers to come before the Nov. 6 election. The local Republican candidates will be lining up to take one of those overdone photos in front of the Versailles cafeteria window. This time with some guy named Ryan who voted twice to end the Cuban embargo but says now that he is a changed man.

Well, most Cubans don’t care if he’s a changed man as long as he’s still Republican. But, still, Versailles is a little stale and, while I love the lore of the place, it has gotten to be a little cliché for political photo ops.

So Ladra has taken the liberty of scouting a few different, more exciting — or at least creative — locations to take Ryan for the myriad camera flashes. Let’s do it like a top 10 list, ala David Letterman.

Number 10: Jackson Memorial Hospital. Maybe Ryan can act as the auctioneer as our county parcels off pieces of our public hospital.

Number 9: Miami-Dade Elections Department in Doral. Maybe our electeds can get him some of the absentee ballot lists so Ryan can get a head start on those famously manipulated ABs. Ladra is almost positive the Romney/Ryan team can beat the 102,000 ABs collected four years ago for Sen. John. McCain’s presidential bid.

Number 8: Hialeah. Ditto.

Number 7: The parking lot of a Home Depot. Any Home Depot. So Ryan and his Republican friends can take pictures with some of the Honduran and Colombian day laborers who they want to “self-deport”.

Number 6: El Palacio de los Jugos on Coral Way. Hey, if the drug dealer’s juice bar is good enough for the presidential candidate, it should be good enough for the VP.

Number 5: The West Miami home of U.S. Sen. Marco Rubio. Even though he didn’t get the VP nod, Rubio is still probably the number one photo prop for all the local GOP candidates. This way, they can get a twofer.

Number 4: Ño, Que Barato! discount store in Hialeah. No, not to pick up more ABs, but to pick up bargains for the campaign trail. Five underwear for $1. Where can you beat that in Wisconsin? Talk about economic recovery.

Number 3: Any peluqueria nearby. So Ryan can explain to the women working there why the Republican Party has no measure on their table for equal pay for women who do equal work.

Number 2: La Carreta. Okay, so it’s not necessarily much different than Versailles — except that Versailles is more for the one percent and La Carreta is cafecito for the 99 percent.

And the number 1 place for that unique photo op with VP wannabe Paul Ryan: South Beach. Maybe he can officiate a symbolic gay marriage. You know, that would catch the voters’ attention.

Okay, so that last one is a long shot. Just that last one. So if Ryan is going to be at Versailles anyway, taking pictures with people holding a little cafecito tazita after all, then I want one of Ladra and him, too. Why not?

But make mine a cortadito. Dark. Like this race.